turlog

Train Wrecks

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:33:08 GMT

I have come to the conclusion that my life is strewn with a thousand train wrecks of unfinished projects. Maybe two thousand. And each one of them hangs around my neck like a mini-albatross. And there is tugging from each of them. And sometimes more than one.

It can be totally debilitating from a progress point of view. The "clear the decks" mentality can get drowned out by the dine of screaming albatrosses. Or is it abatrossi?

Lately there have been tiny events that are helping to put a few of them back on the track. And they disappear down the tracks.

later

Supreme Court Gives Gore’s Oscar to Bush

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 18:26:04 GMT

Just days after former Vice President Al Gore received an Academy Award for his global-warming documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth,” the United States Supreme Court handed Mr. Gore a stunning reversal, stripping him of his Oscar and awarding it to President George W. Bush instead.

For Mr. Gore, who basked in the adulation of his Hollywood audience Sunday night, the high court’s decision to give his Oscar to President Bush was a cruel twist of fate, to say the least.

But in a 5-4 decision handed down Tuesday morning, the justices made it clear that they had taken the unprecedented step of stripping Mr. Gore of his Oscar because President Bush deserved it more.

“It is true that Al Gore has done a lot of talking about global warming,” wrote Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for the majority. “But President Bush has actually helped create global warming.”

In another setback for the former vice president, a group of scientists meeting in Oslo, Norway, today said that Mr. Gore was growing at an unsustainable rate.

“The polar ice caps may be shrinking, but Al Gore is clearly expanding,” said Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo.

The scientists concluded that if Mr. Gore continues to expand at his current rate, he could cause the Earth to spin off its axis by 2010, sending it hurtling into the sun.

“Here’s an inconvenient truth,” Dr. Kyosuke added. “Al’s got to stay away from those carbs.”

Elsewhere, after foreigners received a record number of Academy Award nominations, CNN anchor Lou Dobbs proposed building a 12-foot-high fence around the Kodak Theatre.

by Andy Borowitz
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

South Park incident happens for real

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 01:16:39 GMT

Wired Iraqi man triggers scare at L.A. airport
Tue Mar 6, 2007

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An Iraqi national wearing wires and concealing a magnet inside his rectum triggered a security scare at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday but officials said he posed no apparent threat.

The man, identified by law enforcement officials as Fadhel al-Maliki, 35, set off an alarm during passenger screening at the airport early on Tuesday morning.

A police bomb squad was called to examine what was deemed a suspicious item found during a body cavity search of the man. Local media reports said a magnet was found in his rectum.

"He was secreting these items in a body cavity and that was a great concern because there were also some electric wires associated with that body cavity," Larry Fetters, security director for the Transportation Security Administration at the airport, told reporters.

Maliki, 35, who lives in Atlantic City, New Jersey, was preparing to board a US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia.

The flight left without Maliki but with his luggage aboard. It made an unscheduled landing in Las Vegas, where the plane was thoroughly searched but nothing was found, officials said.

Passengers were not evacuated and no flights were disrupted by the incident at Terminal One at Los Angeles airport.

"There never was a threat," Fetter said.

He said police and the FBI were called in from "an abundance of caution" because Maliki was "so bizarre in his behavior."

Maliki, who had a U.S. green card, was being questioned by immigration officials about his immigration status.

Ann Coulter is a sick fuck

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:08:31 GMT

LET THEM EAT TOFU!
February 28, 2007

Even right-wingers who know that "global warming" is a crock do not seem to grasp what the tree-huggers are demanding. Liberals want mass starvation and human devastation.

Forget the lunacy of people claiming to tell us the precise temperature of planet Earth in 1918 based on tree rings. Or the fact that in the '70s liberals were issuing similarly dire warnings about "global cooling."

Simply consider what noted climatologists Al Gore and Melissa Etheridge are demanding that we do to combat their nutty conjectures about "global warming." They want us to starve the productive sector of fossil fuel and allow the world's factories to grind to a halt. This means an end to material growth and a cataclysmic reduction in wealth.

There are more reputable scientists defending astrology than defending "global warming," but liberals simply announce that the debate has been resolved in their favor and demand that we shut down all production.

They think they can live in a world of only Malibu and East Hampton — with no Trentons or Detroits. It does not occur to them that someone has to manufacture the tiles and steel and glass and solar panels that go into those "eco-friendly" mansions, and someone has to truck it all to their beachfront properties, and someone else has to transport all the workers there to build it. (And then someone has to drive the fleets of trucks delivering the pachysandra and bottled water every day.)

Liberals are already comfortably ensconced in their beachfront estates, which they expect to be unaffected by their negative growth prescriptions for the rest of us.

There was more energy consumed in the manufacture, construction and maintenance of Leonardo DiCaprio's Malibu home than is needed to light the entire city of Albuquerque, where there are surely several men who can actually act. But he has solar panels to warm his house six degrees on chilly Malibu nights.

Liberals haven't the foggiest idea how the industrial world works. They act as if America could reduce its vast energy consumption by using fluorescent bulbs and driving hybrid cars rather than SUVs. They have no idea how light miraculously appears when they flick a switch or what allows them to go to the bathroom indoors in winter — luxuries Americans are not likely to abandon because Leo DiCaprio had solar panels trucked into his Malibu estate.

Our lives depend on fossil fuel. Steel plants, chemical plants, rubber plants, pharmaceutical plants, glass plants, paper plants –- those run on energy. There are no Mother Earth nursery designs in stylish organic cotton without gas-belching factories, ships and trucks, and temperature-controlled, well-lighted stores. Windmills can't even produce enough energy to manufacture a windmill.

Because of the industrialization of agriculture –- using massive amounts of fossil fuel — only 2 percent of Americans work in farming. And yet they produce enough food to feed all 300 million Americans, with plenty left over for export. When are liberals going to break the news to their friends in Darfur that they all have to starve to death to save the planet?

"Global warming" is the left's pagan rage against mankind. If we can't produce industrial waste, then we can't produce. Some of us — not the ones with mansions in Malibu and Nashville is my guess — are going to have to die. To say we need to reduce our energy consumption is like saying we need to reduce our oxygen consumption.

Liberals have always had a thing about eliminating humans. Stalin wanted to eliminate the kulaks and Ukranians, vegetarian atheist Adolf Hitler wanted to eliminate the Jews, Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger wanted to eliminate poor blacks, DDT opponent Rachel Carson wanted to eliminate Africans (introduction to her book "Silent Spring" written by ... Al Gore!), and population-control guru Paul Ehrlich wants to eliminate all humans.

But global warming is the most insane, psychotic idea liberals have ever concocted to kill off "useless eaters." If we have to live in a pure "natural" environment like the Indians, then our entire transcontinental nation can only support about 1 million human beings. Sorry, fellas — 299 million of you are going to have to go.

Proving that the "global warming" campaign is nothing but hatred of humanity, these are the exact same people who destroyed the nuclear power industry in this country 30 years ago.

If we accept for purposes of argument their claim that the only way the human race can survive is with clean energy that doesn't emit carbon dioxide, environmentalists waited until they had safely destroyed the nuclear power industry to tell us that. This proves they never intended for us to survive.

"Global warming" is the liberal's stalking horse for their ultimate fantasy: The whole U.S. will look like Amagansett, with no one living in it except their even-tempered maids (for "diversity"), themselves and their coterie (all, presumably, living in solar-heated mansions, except the maids who will do without electricity altogether). The entire fuel-guzzling, tacky, beer-drinking, NASCAR-watching middle class with their over-large families will simply have to die.

It seems not to have occurred to the jet set that when California is as poor as Mexico, they might have trouble finding a maid. Without trucking, packaging, manufacturing, shipping and refrigeration in their Bel-Air fantasy world, they'll be chasing the rear-end of an animal every time their stomachs growl and killing small animals for pelts to keep their genitals warm.

COPYRIGHT 2007 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main Street, Kansas City, MO 64111

iTunes phone

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 17:12:00 GMT

I just read that Apple has a joint deal with Motorola to sell a cell phone that will play iTunes music. Whaaat? This thing will have the fidelity of a tin can. And how does it do stereo? Will some third party come out with an anal probe accessory so you can "feel" the bass?

This is in the same category as camera phones. Put a crappy camera in a phone just because it can be done. It reminds me of the early entertainment centers in the 1950's. Install a TV, FM radio and record player turntable into a cabinet. None of the components were very good quality, and if one of them died, you were screwed.

Likewise the CD, tape, radio boombox. Or the scanner, fax, telephone and printer. How about the blender, knife sharpener, ice crusher and salad shooter?

Years ago I heard about a blender with a heating element for creating cooked sauces that needed to be constantly stirred. Wonder what happened to it?

Condensed Speech, just add water

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 19:21:51 GMT

Pourquoi la guerre en Irak valait la peine (par George W.Bush)

June 27, 2005
Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

I've kept only the important words:

Global war on terror, September the 11th, 2001, terrorists, terrorists ,
totalitarian ideology, freedom, tyranny, oppression, terror, kill,
terrorists, September the 11th, freedom, enemy, war, terrorists, kill,
kill, murderous ideology, terrorism, terrorists, free nation, war on
freedom, violence and instability, dangerous, violence, bloodshed,
violence, sacrifice, war on terror, violence, killers, freedom, criminal
elements, hateful ideology, freedom, liberty, democracy, terrorists, war
on terror, terrorists, Osama Bin Laden, murder and destruction, enemy,
terrorists, car bombs, enemy, terrorists, suicide bomber, enemy,
terrorists, violence, terrorists, terrorists, terrorists, freedom, enemies,
September the 11th, Bin Laden, enemy, free, tyranny, terrorists,
anti-terrorist, free, al Qaeda, free nation, terrorists ,terrorists, enemy,
security, terrorists, anti-terrorist terrorists, terror, enemy, tyranny ,
enemies, freedom, freedom, ideologies of murder, atrocity, September the
11th 2001, car bombers and assassins, freedom, freedom, flying the flag,
freedom, freedom, September the 11th 2001, enemies”.

(I didn't hear the words, "weapons of mass destruction"...).

--Pascal Riché

Pascal Riché
http://usa.blogs.liberation.fr/